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Quote, Thought

Funny Quotes To Make My Day!

Here are just some funny quotes that make me laugh & think –

Complaining is mouth farting, and just like any farting, I don't mind hearing my own, but I don't want to hear anyone else's.I happened to see this one just now, pretty funny I think.

Complaining is mouth farting, …..

  • Marriage is like a public toilet, those waiting outside are desperate to get in and those inside are desperate to come out.

  • The ideal man doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t swear, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.
    – Anonymous
    完美男人不抽煙,不喝酒,不嗑藥,不罵髒話,不發火,……. 也不存在。

  • A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real.

  • When a woman says “What?“. It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
    You had better change what you said.

  • If you want something said, ask a man.
    If you want something done, ask a woman.
    – Margaret Thatcher
    你要談事, 找個男人;若要成事, 找個女人。
    – 柴契爾夫人

  • Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
    – Barbra Streisand
    為什麼女人花了十年時間改變男人,然後又抱怨他已非當年所嫁的人? – 芭芭拉史翠珊

  • During a test, people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.
    Very funny & true!!

  • Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
    男人就像銀行賬戶。如果沒有很多錢,他們不會產生很大的興趣(利息)。 interest雙關語:利息,興趣

  • If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
    – Bill Maher

  • The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
    – Charles Bukowski

  • A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.
    一個小男孩問爸爸:”爸爸,結婚得花多少錢呢?” 父親回答說: “我不知道,我現在還在付錢呢。”

  • We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.
    – Dave Ramsey
    我們用我們沒有的錢買用不到的東西,去讓不喜歡的人印象深刻。 (只為炫耀而預支消費不需要的東西)

  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
    – George Carlin

  • You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

  • Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
    「別讓愚者吻你,也別被吻愚弄了」 趣味交錯句語錄

  • A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
    (吃一個回味無窮,吃太多就有罪惡感,恨自己了!) 對我應該是巧克力比較對!

  • Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
    – Albert King

  • To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that’s even more human.

  • My advice to you is “Get married !”: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
    – Socrates
    給你的忠告是 “結婚吧!”: 如果你找到個賢妻,會幸福快樂;萬一事與願違,你會成為哲學家。 – 蘇格拉底

  • As to marriage or celibacy,let a man take which course he will,he will be sure to repent.
    – Socrates
    要結婚還是單身,讓男人照自己的意思去做吧! 他總會後悔的. – 蘇格拉底

  • Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.

  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
    公車站是公車停的地方,火車站是火車停的地方。在我的辦公桌上,有一個工作站(電腦 work station-工作停的地方)。

  • The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’, the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says ‘I look like a brain’, and the banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’
    一堆食物在閒聊 –
    Funny one.


About Rebecca

A pretty lazy human being ! Lazy to do any boring stuff.


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