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Quote, Thought

Funny Quotes To Make My Day!

Here are just some funny quotes that make me laugh & think –


Complaining is mouth farting, and just like any farting, I don't mind hearing my own, but I don't want to hear anyone else's.I happened to see this one just now, pretty funny I think.
挺好笑的,剛看到忍不住笑出來!

Complaining is mouth farting, …..
抱怨就是嘴巴放P,就像任何P一樣,我不介意我自己的,但我不想聽聞到其他人的。

  • Marriage is like a public toilet, those waiting outside are desperate to get in and those inside are desperate to come out.
    婚姻就像公共廁所,等在外面的是拼命想進去,在裡面的又想趕快出來。

  • The ideal man doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t swear, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.
    – Anonymous
    完美男人不抽煙,不喝酒,不嗑藥,不罵髒話,不發火,……. 也不存在。

  • A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real.
    真的女孩不會是完美的,完美的女孩也不會是真的。

  • When a woman says “What?“. It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
    當女人說“什麼”的時候,不是因為她沒聽清你說的,而是她正在給你機會改變你剛說的話。
    You had better change what you said.

  • If you want something said, ask a man.
    If you want something done, ask a woman.
    – Margaret Thatcher
    你要談事, 找個男人;若要成事, 找個女人。
    – 柴契爾夫人

  • Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married?
    – Barbra Streisand
    為什麼女人花了十年時間改變男人,然後又抱怨他已非當年所嫁的人? – 芭芭拉史翠珊

  • During a test, people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.
    在考試過程中,人們抬頭向上看找靈感,在絕望中向下看,而向左右看找情報。
    Very funny & true!!

  • Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
    男人就像銀行賬戶。如果沒有很多錢,他們不會產生很大的興趣(利息)。 interest雙關語:利息,興趣

  • If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
    – Bill Maher
    如果你有把槍,你可以搶銀行,但如果你有個銀行,你可以搶每個人。

  • The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
    – Charles Bukowski
    世界的問題是-智者充滿了懷疑,而愚者卻信心滿滿。

  • A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.
    一個小男孩問爸爸:”爸爸,結婚得花多少錢呢?” 父親回答說: “我不知道,我現在還在付錢呢。”

  • We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.
    – Dave Ramsey
    我們用我們沒有的錢買用不到的東西,去讓不喜歡的人印象深刻。 (只為炫耀而預支消費不需要的東西)

  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
    偷取一個人的想法是”剽竊”,偷取眾家的稱為”研究”。

  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
    – George Carlin
    你是否曾注意到,任何人開比你慢就是個白痴,比你快就是個瘋子嗎?

  • You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
    你只年輕一次,但幼稚卻可能一直跟著你。

  • Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
    「別讓愚者吻你,也別被吻愚弄了」 趣味交錯句語錄

  • A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
    每天一個餅乾,遠離悲傷;但一天吃整罐餅乾又把悲傷帶回來了。
    (吃一個回味無窮,吃太多就有罪惡感,恨自己了!) 對我應該是巧克力比較對!

  • Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
    – Albert King
    每人都想上天堂,但沒有人想死。

  • To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that’s even more human.
    犯錯是人性,但歸咎他人,更是人性。

  • My advice to you is “Get married !”: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
    – Socrates
    給你的忠告是 “結婚吧!”: 如果你找到個賢妻,會幸福快樂;萬一事與願違,你會成為哲學家。 – 蘇格拉底

  • As to marriage or celibacy,let a man take which course he will,he will be sure to repent.
    – Socrates
    要結婚還是單身,讓男人照自己的意思去做吧! 他總會後悔的. – 蘇格拉底

  • Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.
    正直誠信就是沒有人看到時也做正確的事。

  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
    公車站是公車停的地方,火車站是火車停的地方。在我的辦公桌上,有一個工作站(電腦 work station-工作停的地方)。

  • The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’, the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says ‘I look like a brain’, and the banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’
    一堆食物在閒聊 –
    青花菜說:「我看起來像一棵小樹」。
    蘑菇說:「我看起來像一把傘」。
    核桃說:「我看起來像一個大腦」。
    香蕉不好意思地說:「我們能不能換個話題?」。
    Funny one.

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About Rebecca

A pretty lazy human being ! Lazy to do any boring stuff.

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